The 67 Darndest Things That Military Kids Say

April is the Month of the Military Child, and we enjoy celebrating our nation’s littlest heroes this month here at Military Spouse! We recently asked YOU to share some of the unique, funny and cute things YOUR military kids have said or done recently…and your answers made us smile, laugh and even tear up just a bit!

It was a great reminder of how special our children truly are…they have a great ability to find humor in our unique lifestyle, to adapt well to change, and even make US feel better about things at times.  We hope you will get as much joy from reading about these awesome children as we did…and will continue to add to the list!

Military Kids Say the Darndest Things!

1. I couldn’t find our dog and my 2-year-old said, “I have an idea, mommy. Let’s use ‘noculars to find Auggie!”

2. I was telling my four year old about our heritage, and I told her, “You’re half mommy and half daddy.” I then told her I was German, and before I could finish she said “So, I’m half German and half Army guy!” It made everyone we were near in the restaurant laugh out loud.

3. Our seven year old was playing in his room with his friend from across the street.  He was making his friend do push-ups, jumping jacks, and sit-ups.  He was pacing back and forth counting and then said, “OK!  You’re a REAL Marine now!!  Here’s your gun and your helmet!”  We are on recruiting duty so there are not many military families near us.

4. Ben: “I really hate bees!!! One almost touched my ear out there!” Me: “Well, you could come inside…” Ben: “No I got lots of friends out there.” Me: “Friends?” Ben: “Yea like Kailani, she’s my best friend.”  This is a new duty station for us and he has no other physical friends.. I’m so glad he has his sister. I suppose it’s normal for military children to get by with few friends, if any.

5. My eight year old was talking about a nine year old neighbor and said, “He has lived in this same city his WHOLE life!” For a kid who moved seven times in six years that was unimaginable for someone to have lived in the same place for so long.

6. I was dropping my husband off this morning (we share a car) and they were prepping for an outdoor ceremony. As we drove away my four year old said, “Why are they having a picnic for work?”

7. When my husband came back from deployment a few months ago, our five year old daughter hadn’t seen him in uniform for a few weeks until suddenly, she came downstairs to see him in uniform for the first time.  She put her head down and stated, “Aww crap!”

8. Totally out of the blue my six year old said, “Mommy, where is daddy’s jet pack? Did he leave it in Afghanistan?” Never have we mentioned a jet pack!

9. We are moving with only about six weeks of school left in the year and I was worried because two kids are in advanced classes. After a couple of weeks of trying to figure things out, my 8, 9, 12 and 14 year old kids were talking at dinner with us one night and my 14 year old said, “Mom it’s okay! We have done this a few times before. Everything will work out.” I AM the mom, right? I am the one who is supposed to calm everyone else down, right? Military kids can be so good at change when needed. I should know better… I was a Military kid too!

9. We just moved to Virginia and my daughter, who is five, said she was disappointed and that we need to move to Hawaii because that’s where Lilo and Stitch live…and she wants to learn to dance like Lilo!

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