The terms, “Battle Buddy, Deployment Sister, and I Got Your Six,” have become insincere phrases used today, similar to bless you, and how are you. Their meanings have dissipated along with respect for the military culture.
When my husband signed on the dotted line, he understood he was stepping away from his old life, into the unknown. But, it was different back then—units, forged into families by service. Sharing bad days, good days, and even sick days together. Military families also spent a great deal of time with one another. We laughed together, like Roxy and Pamela on Army Wives, cried at the memorials of our fallen, and prayed for the safety of our servicemembers downrange. Our families volunteered tirelessly to cultivate a home away from home for everyone. It was a labor love. Cooking, fundraising, and even sharing family traditions.
Today, that sense of community is gone. Volunteering is exhausting because it isn’t a shared responsibility anymore. Many spouses now dread the obligation of selfless service. Divided we stand within the ranks of our units and within the organizations serviced by our families. We are mentally and physically fatigued. We no longer fight for each other. We fight with each other. Personally, I am tired. I’m tired of fighting at every duty station about my child’s special needs education. I’m tired of fighting about the lack of support for military spouses. Lastly, I’m tired of fighting about the condition of on-post military housing.
EFMP has proven to be ineffective. Battling for command sponsorship, fighting for adequate health care, and questioning why a system won’t uphold the standards they’ve instilled, is utterly exhausting. In a recent survey conducted by Blue Star Families, it indicated that nearly half of the military’s EFMP families find relocating one of their top stressors. Albeit, it’s not the only one.
The lack of support for military spouses has been the topic of many conversations. Military spouses have experienced a lack of support in the employment sector as they faced discrimination by potential employers because of their military lifestyle.
I must admit, the way military spouses have taken a fierce stance against the conditions of on-post military housing brings tears to my eyes. Thank you to those spouses speaking up for us all, fighting for the health and wellbeing of our families. Because we are tired of it.
The military has become a political stepchild caught in the middle of toxic figureheads and political opportunists. Have we lost sight of our purpose? Military members and dependents are committing suicide at an alarming rate. Service members committing atrocious acts against one another. All the while, programs for the betterment of military families are being neglected or cut entirely. I can go on and on. But, you get it, I am over it. The only way things will change is by our continuing to speak up for our families. Attending sensing sessions like military town hall events, Family Readiness Group meetings, Key Spouse meetings, and other opportunities to have our voices heard. I know you’re tired, I can see it. But, clearly, if we want better, we’ve got to rouse our inner selves and demand change.