Yes, I’m Dating A Military Man And No, We Aren’t Getting Married Right Away

From Odyssey.com

I’ve been asked why we aren’t married yet, and I’ve been put down for it.

Many military couples opt for marriage sooner than the average couple. The benefits are often grounds for many couples to tie the knot – higher pay, educational, healthcare, childcare, shopping, recreational, and housing benefits. The soldier makes more money and gets out of the barracks to move into a house. The American Red Cross will keep soldiers and families in touch, and help send home a soldier quickly and with financial and transportation assistance if an emergency occurs, however, they only recognize immediate family and spouses.

If the soldier falls ill or injured, only those people would be notified. A girlfriend or boyfriend would not be notified. If one of those people falls ill or injured, he can come home for them. If a girlfriend or boyfriend falls ill or injured, the soldier cannot come home for them.

Others marry so they can live with their partner — without marriage, the soldier must live in the barracks without their partner. Soldiers don’t attend college or online school while serving and unemployment rates for military spouses are high. Personally, I want to take advantage of everything a university can offer me, to achieve my own degree, take advantage of an organization and events for personal advancement, and have a career so I can provide for myself and my family. Yes, that means distance, but why is distance so wrong?

Over the course of our entire lives, 3-4 years is relatively short. He gets his Army experience and I get my university experience. All of these reasons result in young and quick marriage right out of high school or after weeks/months of dating to be common.

Yes, I’m his girlfriend. No, we are not rushing to the courthouse. And yes, our relationship is still as valid as anyone else’s. 

We believe marriage is legal recognition of an already existing relationship, meaning the relationship was already valid and still is valid after marriage, for those of you who try to pull the “oh, you guys aren’t married so it doesn’t matter/isn’t important.” Also, we aren’t going to break up over an issue because we aren’t married, nor will we deal with the relationship if we are unhappy just because we are married. Whether we are married or not, we are going to work out issues and or leave a relationship that doesn’t suit us. Marriage does not change the dynamics of a relationship.

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