I was a single 22-year-old mother of three when I enlisted in the Army, longing for stability, security and strength for our little family of four. My kids were six, three, and nine months old when I shipped to basic training—similarly, to motherhood, I had no idea what I was getting into when I joined the military.
Mothering helped me be a better leader and the military helped me be a better mother, intertwining the grit and the grace for both responsibilities. There are so many beautiful lessons we learn along the way, but the demands of military life gave me some practical and beneficial skills to thrive in the hood—motherhood.
1: How to Apply TLPs to everyday life
Troop Leading Procedures are the foundation for any successful mission. I did not learn about TLPs until I became an officer, but I will share with you the application here, so you can become a legit mom boss when it comes to planning anything from vacations to PCS-ing to managing your day-to-day household.
From the moment you know what the family mission is, tell the rest of the family what is coming soon, then make the tentative plan. Start packing or making arrangements so the plan can be implemented, do a recon (know possible obstacles that will affect the outcome), and finalize the plan with all the information you have gathered and know. Now tell the rest of the family the full plan (age appropriate), then be the mom boss and make sure everyone follows the plan and make those minor adjustments (FRAGO) as needed—FRAGO is short for Fragmentary Order, which informs others of changes to the original plan. Life is an ebb and flow, so make sure you plan is adaptable.
2: Find creative ways to stay involved (even when mission calls you away)
My kids were six, nine, and 12 when I deployed, but that was not the first time the Army called me away, it was just the longest.
When I was downrange, I ensured each kid had an iPod so we could video chat. I found new trinkets each month to send care packages home from the Middle East (instead of receiving care packages I was sending them—total mom move). I also made a mommy doll so I could keep watch while away and get those amazing little hugs daily.
3: Dress right Dress—more than just ‘Army Pretty’
I have never organized a sock drawer until I joined the Army, but I learned that ensuring everyone has the same standard was highly important.
Although individualized by kid, each member of the team, er, family has a critical role in the overall its success. It is more than just looking good outwardly, but knowing the reason behind why we do things as a family, has been everything to getting our lives in order from the sock drawer to future success of each member.
4: The ranger roll is the only way to tie a shoe
How many times do you tie and re-tie your child’s shoe every day? Are you a mom of littles and struggle to keep their shoelaces tied?
Double knotting is so outdated. Start with a regular “rabbit ears” tying method, but before you singe down the knot, loop one of the “ears” through the opening then pull tight—the shoelace stay tied all day long. However, when you are ready to take the shoe off, instead of wrestling with the undoing of the double knot—simply pull the ends of both strings for a quick removal.
5: Apply LDRSHIP at home
Teaching the Army Values to my children has helped them become kind, inclusive,2 and compassionate humans.
All military branches have a code and by teaching your children about loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity and personal courage early will help future generations thrive and ensure that compassion meets grit on their long journey of life. Focus on one value at a time to develop and then as your children grow, challenge them to lead a family mission, volunteer in the community, do something they fear and most importantly to encourage their siblings to do the same.
Applying these lessons to our family helped us understand our roles on the team, which instilled the ‘never give up’ mindset and helped us to thrive in the chaos of life. Apply these lessons at any point on your motherhood journey to help create stability, security and strength to accomplish the most critical mission of your life—raising your children.
Writer Bio: Kerri Jeter is the founder of Freedom Sisters Media, a place for content, connection and community for women beyond the uniform. She served in the Army for 12 years, exiting as a senior captain. www.freedomsisters.com