What If I Don’t Want a “New Year, New Me?”

Already, this year has had us holding our hats and wondering what 2021 has in store. We don’t have crystal balls, but we do have our willingness as military spouses to do our best. Our usual tackle-it-all-with-a-smile-gusto works for PCS lists and making friends, but what if you are fresh out of football-offensive-linemen-energy?

What if I don’t want “New Year, New Me?” What if I wish for wholeness, rest, patience, and grace? Can we have a year without the hustle? A year where we remember, “just because we can, doesn’t mean we should.”

The world is already chomping at the bit to go back to dinners, vacations, and hugs. The vaccine feels like permission to let a deluge of events, requests, and ideas rain our way and flood our calendar, and it’s just beginning.

What if instead of letting ourselves say yes to everyone, we paused first?

I’m not saying that once we are safer, you should stay cloistered like a 9th-century monk, but I believe we should take each opportunity to honestly ask ourselves if we really want to bring that thing back into our lives.

We say yes for many reasons, because we should, because we must, or because it makes our heart happy. Ask yourself these three questions before committing to things this year:

Is this necessary and good?

Is this something I want to do?

Will this feed my spirit or drain my soul?

Sometimes, like doing the dishes, commitments can drain us, but they are necessary and good. Other times, a commitment to an organization you don’t genuinely love can be worthwhile, but exhausting. This year, pick something that aligns with your values and makes you excited.

It’s okay to take time to figure out the speed you want in 2021. 2020 was an emotional-spiritual-mental-physical rollercoaster ride. It’s okay if you are nervous about this year and what it holds. Let’s go slow and take one thing at a time. You can keep your garden, your new bread-baking habit, and work, but that might mean saying no to something else. I vote we throw out the idea of ‘hustle’ where you drop exhausted into the bed each night and wonder what happened to your time and why you didn’t shower.

Let’s take care of ourselves and each other by being intentional about what we choose to bring back into our lives.

 We can choose to live differently. Let’s let 2021 be the year of rest.

AJ Smit: Aj Smit is a writer, professional mermaid, and weaver of joy. She leads Red Tents, retreats, and one on one coaching, as well as henna adornment services to help you live an embodied life of joy. You can find her at @TheJoyWeaver on FB and IG or at TheJoyWeaver.com
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