Written by Barbara Bates
My husband is deployed. This means I spend a lot of time baking and shopping for goodies for care packages.
Having shopped out the local grocery store and Wal-Mart, I headed to Sam’s Club this afternoon to see what sort of sugary goodness was to be had.
As the cashier was checking out my order she asked, “Are you having a party or something?” Apparently she was not used to seeing someone buy $65 worth of sugar for personal consumption (although as deployment survival ideas go, it’s not a bad one).
“No,” I answered cheerily. “These things are going to my husband in Afghanistan.”
Immediately, her face fell and she looked as if I’d just told her I had six months to live.
“I’m so, so sorry,” she said.
“Don’t be,” I replied.
She fumbled packing my items.
“I’m just so sorry. I know it’s such a sensitive subject to some people. I didn’t mean to offend you in any way if I did.”
“Really, it’s fine,” I laughed.
“I-I-just hope everything turns out for the best,” she stammered.
I thanked her and went on my way, but her words stayed in my head. This isn’t the first time someone has felt the need to offer condolences about my life.
To all those cashiers, civilian friends, and other non-military people in my life…please don’t feel sorry for me.
I love my life. I chose it willingly, and repeatedly, as I happily supported my husband’s desire to reenlist.
Our family has been stationed in every region of the country, as well as Japan. I have seen things and met the most amazing people who would never have been a part of my life had I stayed in my hometown. I have had incredible experiences. Some with my husband, and some on my own. I’ve had the chance to know how independent, strong, and capable I am, because I’ve had to do it on my own. My world has grown so much larger and colorful than I ever imagined.
I feel lucky.
Do I worry? Absolutely. Do I miss him? Every moment of every day.
But when all is said and done, I am married to a man who knows how to love something more than himself. Who cares about protecting the innocent and weak. Who wants to make a difference in the world around him. And who is willing to go fight on foreign shores to keep the fight from coming home to those he loves.
Feel sorry for me?
Not on your life.