Are you being proactive instead of reactive with your self-care? Imagine yourself one of two different plants. One has dropped most of its crinkly leaves and has turned brown. The other plant is covered with vibrant, shiny, and smooth foliage. Which plant do you resemble?
If we don’t regularly and consistently care for ourselves, we become like a dying plant. Challenge yourself to see true refreshment as a necessary part of your life. Remember you are a human with limitations. As a military spouse, there is no limit to activities that occupy your schedule. Your military spouse is probably frequently deployed, TDY, or just working long hours. Caring for your kids, home, job, and pets are important, but so is your respite.
Rest should be a part of, not an escape from your life. Rest is the most underused discipline. Most individuals have a significant rest deficit. Time out should be restorative and rejuvenating for all parts of you. Is watching television or scrolling social media truly restorative? If not, what would be refreshing for you? Here are some suggestions:
- Spend time silently in nature.
- Pursue solitude – music can help you shift your thoughts from worries.
- Surround yourself with supportive relationships. Limit relationships that drain you.
- Practice joy – make sure you make time to celebrate special days and events with family and friends.
- Nurture your spiritual life to bring peace into your life. Consider contemplating sacred texts or other sources to feed your inner spirit.
Healthy plants are cared for on a regular schedule. To consistently give your body the refreshment it needs, you’ll need to schedule times of relaxation. Here are some ideas for establishing regular patterns of respite:
- Daily: Take two five-minute breaks. Move your eyes and body away from what you were working on. Maybe even walk outside for a moment. Breathe slow and deeply for four, long counts. If you have kids, take them outside or to the park and move your mind to peaceful thoughts.
- Weekly: Your body needs a period in which you don’t stress or feel like you should be doing something. You’ll have to be intentional to make this happen – schedule a breather day. If you are single parenting because your spouse is away, you’ll need to figure out how way to schedule relaxing activities with your kids. Consider alternating weeks with another military spouse who is also single parenting.
- Monthly: Take a half-day where you focus only on your personal rejuvenation. Daily household chores can distract you, so get away from your house to a city park or similar place.
- Annually: Take a real vacation with your spouse and family. Consider something that will be truly restorative for you. Unplug from your devices.
When it comes to rest, we often have a false view of what true restoration means. If you don’t take some time out to restore and refresh yourself, you’ll find yourself like a dying plant. You want to be a vibrant and healthy spouse. Establish rhythms of rest.