Even though there are approximately two million living female veterans, women currently comprise just 10% of the total veteran population. That figure is projected to rise closer to 20% by 2043 – but even with the increase in women who have served, it’s hard not to feel a bit invisible at times. source
The initial surprise and even shock among the civilian, non-military population that I am actually the veteran didn’t surprise me. To me, those reactions felt no different from when I was serving on active duty, and people learned I was the active duty member. The result was often a small, awkward silence before the conversation continued.
What I was personally surprised by, and continue to be, is the reaction of a large majority of staff members (and patrons) within the Veterans Affairs (VA) system.
Although the Center for Women Veterans was established in VA hospitals throughout the country in 1994, we can do more. source
Elbow Your Way to the Table If You Have to, But You Belong
It never actually occurred to me that staff members, and fellow veterans, within an actual VA facility would snub me as a female veteran.
I wish I could share with you it was a one-off experience. But that has not been the case.
With the shock and slow realization that I might be welcomed, but only grudgingly, I began with my active duty out-processing and initial medical appointments within the VA system. I’d made a separation appointment, verified it before I came, and had printed out duplicate copies of my medical records, forms, prescriptions, DD-214, separation paperwork, and anything else I could think of.
Trouble began in the underground parking lot beneath the VA hospital, when I went to park in the apportioned Veterans rows, only to be waved off by an attendant. I rolled my window down, confused, only for it to be confirmed that parking was indeed for Veterans only.
“Great!” I chirped, and started to pull forward, only to have the attendant angrily wave me off again.
As I didn’t want my car towed – I showed my ID and DD-214, along with my appointment letter, and only at that point was allowed to pass.
The treatment wasn’t better within the hospital. My appointment was for the separations and benefits process, and I entered a conference room full of grumpy looking men, a mix of ages. If there has ever been a record-scratch moment, that was it – as every pair of eyes glared at me, as if I were an unwelcome intrusion in a men’s locker room. I verified I was in the correct room and produced my appointment confirmation letter to the briefing counselor, who was also male. He confirmed I was in the correct place.
And still, no one made a move to let me in. There was no invitation to sit down, by anyone, the counselor included.
The conference room was small, but there were still a handful of empty chairs at the table toward the back of the room. The seats closest to the briefer of course, were already taken.
I had every right to be here too – and I wasn’t leaving without getting the briefing packet and appointment I came for.
I pushed my way to an empty seat, knocking chairbacks as I went and yanked a chair away from the table.
Ladies, I wish I could tell you that has been a one-off experience with the VA system, but in my experience at least, it’s been the norm more often than the exception. And if that snub happens to you, take heart. Elbow your way in if you have to, (we shouldn’t have to fight, yet here we are), and take up every bit of the space you are entitled to as a military veteran.
You’re Not Alone
Sometimes, just hearing that others are fighting the same battle helps fill our souls with courage that we aren’t alone.
The battle is slow, and ongoing, but there are improvements being made. Those improvements come from women sharing our stories, struggles and experiences – and insisting there must be a more inclusive approach for women vets.
Some of those changes that have come about include:
- The eMentor Program, where veterans can request mentors (or become a mentor), https://www.ementorprogram.org/home/about/
- Women Veterans’ Mental Health, https://www.va.gov/womenvet/resources/mentalHealth.asp
- The VA Center for Women Veterans, which includes a National Resource Directory, Events, and more, https://www.va.gov/womenvet/resources/mentalHealth.asp
- The V-WISE Program (Veteran Women Igniting the Spirit of Entrepreneurship), which is a fantastic resource specifically tailored for female veterans to build professional networks, and offers support to successfully launch and grow a business. https://vwise.vets.syr.edu/getinvolved/
It’s Time for an Outdated Motto to Change
The VA has been charged with upholding former President Lincoln’s promise, ‘To care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan.’
It may seem like semantics, identifying “his widow” and “his orphan,” but in a culture where women are still meeting resistance and experiencing differences in medical care in VA facilities, as opposed to their male counterparts, the semantics matter. source
It matters because that motto, that mission statement of the Veterans Affairs, excludes female veterans. It is an outdated motto that does not include women’s service – and women feel that exclusion the minute they walk through the doors of a VA facility.
The motto’s phrasing is at the center of an ongoing fight to update the language. The topic draws heated debate, particularly when the VA’s number two in charge, Deputy Secretary Pamela Powers, a female and also a retired Air Force colonel herself, argues against changing the motto to either a gender-neutral charge, or simply including female counterparts. source
It’s hard not to feel the undercurrent of exclusion when the VA, and its highest-ranking female executive, openly fight against changing the language to acknowledge the female experience. source
“If women veterans are invisible in the VA motto, where else are they invisible?” source
Sisters in arms, past and present – in case you needed a reminder this Veterans Day, you are not invisible, and we are not alone.
