2020 has been a challenging year, no doubt about it. Before the COVID-19 pandemic, we experienced “normal life” – we ate where we wanted, we shopped where we wanted, and we hung out with whoever we wanted, without limits and without masks. Now, we’ve added masks to the phone-wallet-keys we need to leave the house, restaurants and stores all have “curbside pickup” and delivery options, and most social gatherings now take place on a virtual platform.
I think it is safe to say that this year hasn’t been what any of us envisioned. We have all faced many challenges that have forced us to re-evaluate how we do life, as well as learn some new things about ourselves. Through my own evaluation, I realized that while life was “normal,” I was unintentionally doing the very thing I told myself I would never, ever do.
I had taken my loved ones for granted.
Before the pandemic, I could call up my friends here and see them whenever I wanted. I could invite them over for coffee, game nights, or even go out to dinner. I was invited out a lot, too. But, because I’m me, and I can’t stand having “plans,” I always dreaded social situations (until I was in them, of course, then I was fine). I barely ever accepted an invite to go out because, to me, it was never the “right time.” I always chalked it up to me being “bad at keeping in touch,” but the cold hard truth was, I was lazy. I didn’t want to put effort into these types of relationships because I figured that if I didn’t offend anyone or do anything wrong, that we would always be friends.
I live in an area that is rife with things to do. Yet, I rarely wanted to do them. My kids would ask me to do things, but I was always “too tired” to go anywhere. When I did go somewhere, I was always in a hurry to go home. Not because I was afraid, but because I just didn’t want to be there.
Then the pandemic hit. The pandemic effectively upended all of our plans, particularly our social lives. My social life, in particular, was halted. I couldn’t see my friends. I couldn’t take my kids anywhere. They couldn’t see their friends. At first, we were fine. I thought, “I’m going to thrive in quarantine!” But then, I thought about my kids – would they be okay? What about my extroverted friends? Were they going to be okay?
When everything went virtual, I started attending regular coffee dates with fellow spouses via Zoom. I would FaceTime my best friend at this station, Sarah, for coffee dates at least once per week. I had group chats on social media with my other good friends here, as well. As the restrictions eased and I started to see my friends again, and my kids got to play with their friends, I noticed that I was no longer rushed to leave a social situation. I no longer dreaded the plans I had made. I cherish every interaction. Every conversation. Every hug (and trust me, I am not a hugger). I take my kids to the park, or out for ice cream at every available opportunity (while social distancing, of course!).
Overall, I believe that the events of this year have taught me that the most important people in my life deserve for me to show up for them in the way that they show up for me. I am lucky to have the people in my life that I do, and they deserve to be reminded of that. So I’ll show up to coffee, to dinner, to a playdate, and I’ll make my best effort to contribute to the conversation or activity in a meaningful way, always.