In the chaotic whirlwind of military life, we military spouses often find ourselves adept at the art of deprioritization—putting our own needs and desires on the back burner to cater to the demands of others. While this selfless act may initially seem noble, it often leads to a dangerous cycle of resentment, burnout, and self-neglect.
Let’s paint a familiar picture: Suzie Milspo starts her day before the break of dawn, catering to the needs of her husband and children. She juggles household chores, remote work, and childcare with little respite, all while silently bearing the weight of unspoken expectations and societal pressures. Her own needs—physical, emotional, and mental—are relegated to the bottom of an ever-growing to-do list, pushed aside in favor of tending to the needs of others.
As the day wears on, Suzie finds herself running on empty, worn down by the relentless demands of military life, motherhood, or both. Her clothes no longer fit, her energy is depleted, and real rest becomes a distant memory (or a figment of the imagination). Yet, when asked how she’s doing, her default response is always “everything is fine,” masking the mounting stress and exhaustion brewing beneath the surface.
But what happens when military spouses hit the proverbial wall? When the weight of their responsibilities becomes too heavy to bear, and the facade of strength begins to crumble? It’s a reality we military spouses will always face, grappling with the overwhelming pressure to keep it all together while silently struggling to cope with the relentless demands of our lives.
In the face of such challenges, it’s vital for us to recognize the importance of prioritizing our own well-being. Real rest and play, not just momentary distractions or escapes, are essential for maintaining mental and emotional health. Yet, amidst the chaos of daily life, finding the time and space for this radical thing can feel like an impossible feat.
So, where do we begin? It starts with a simple question: What brings you joy? What activities fill your cup and nourish your soul? Whether it’s spending time outdoors, indulging in a favorite hobby, or simply taking a moment to rest and recharge, identifying these sources of rejuvenation is the first step towards reclaiming real rest.
Once you’ve identified your needs, it’s crucial to carve out time in your schedule to prioritize them. Guard this time fiercely, treating it as sacred and non-negotiable. Whether it’s a few minutes of mindfulness each morning or a leisurely afternoon spent pursuing your passions, make a conscious effort to invest in your own real rest.
As military spouses, we are no strangers to sacrifice (or suffering). But it’s important to remember that our own needs matter too. By prioritizing real rest and making time for refreshment, play, and rejuvenation, we can cultivate a sense of balance that allows us to navigate the challenges of military life without losing our minds.
So, let’s commit to breaking free from the cycle of chronic deprioritization and reclaiming our rest. Because in prioritizing our own restoration, we can face these challenges from a place of stability.
Remember, you are worthy of care, kindness, and compassion. And by prioritizing your own needs, you empower yourself to show up as the best version of yourself—for yourself, your loved ones, and your community.
Take a moment today to reflect on what real rest means to you, and make a commitment to prioritize it in your daily life. Build in rhythms of work and rest. Rest is less about building resilience and more about living from a place of restoration.