By MAJ Marissa Cina
“Text me when you step off, OK?” My best friend texts me. She lives in Kentucky and I live in Maryland. It’s 0445 in the morning. She’s been in the Army 23 years and I’ve been in 16. We’ve risen through the ranks and are both in non-traditional job spaces that do not come with a set PT time anymore. Praise God because we both have small children and are dual military! But also…we have no idea how to work out on our own.
When we were in Afghanistan 13 or so years ago, we would exercise every morning together saying obnoxious things like, let’s just do an easy 4 miles. Or, let’s only do weights for 30 and cardio for 30, keep it simple. Ugh. Our calves were chiseled, our abs were visible, and our booties were lifted high.
Now, we are both struggling with where to workout and when to workout and what must be sacrificed in demanding jobs with kids and drop offs and pickups and babysitters and paperwork and schoolwork and…etc. etc. etc. Running two miles is a cause for celebration.Working out has taken last place to a long list of family and mission critical requirements.
I wish I could say it was my nosedive in joy and energy (which happened) that was the impetus for reinvigorating my search for an exercise plan that fits my life. It wasn’t. It was having to buy another set of pants in a new size. I am so tired of having a closet of sizes between 4-12, S-XL, I just want one size and to stay there and not stress. And so, every morning at 0500 I “meet” my friend for non-negotiable cardio of our choosing and…I joined a women’s only gym after 16 years of exercise in groups with mostly men.
Here’s why:
- They have good childcare. Sweet teachers, a clean room, good toys, a tv, and a window for me to be able to check-in on her during water breaks. This removes an excuse that I can’t workout when my daughter is around. It takes pressure off of having to wait for my husband to be home to take care of myself. AND it sets a good example.
- No willpower or mental requirements needed. The gym offers all day group workout classes. I’m not in a season (and I may never go back to that season!) where I am focusing on building or changing certain parts of my physique.This is essential when my brain power is siphoned off to work, marriage, parenting, writing all day every day. There’s. Nothing. Left. And I can’t slink away early because I’m already there and there are other people around.
- Body Types. I love that it’s all women in all shapes, sizes, and ages. I want to be a strong old woman who can carry her own groceries in one trip. I want to toss my grand babies around. This gym reminds me that we have a much longer physical journey in these bodies than just the next physical fitness test.
- Communal encouragement. When you are dancing or stepping or lifting in rhythm together, it’s hard not to smile and laugh a little, especially as you are learning the routines. Or suffering. I leave feeling accomplished and joyful.
So, after 16 years in the Army I joined a women’s gym and I love it. It’s keeping me moving and encouraged, focused on lifelong fitness and removing the barriers and excuses that leave me feeling trapped. Critically, this space of women reminds me that it’s OK to not look like I did in my twenties. Embracing being human means embracing the life and body I have been given without the inner voices of shame stealing time and energy from my mission-fields: faith, family, and the Army. There will never be a good time to workout in this season, but I have found a good place.
If you are in the Fort Meade area I highly recommend Transformations Women’s Fitness. They have military spouses as instructors and are very friendly and welcoming to our community.