5. My Town
Hmm, I do believe that is the name of another country song, and actually it sums up quite well what I am referring to. I live in the same town I grew up in, at least from junior high on. I have all my favorites here and everywhere I turn there are memories; good, bad and ones I will take with me to the grave! During my spouse’s guard career there has been one out of state PCS move we made and that lasted a year and eight months.
That meant so did the cravings. You know we all have those favorite meals your taste buds yearn for and you’re never tired of! Kind of like your mama’s home cooked meals. I’m a Cali girl and a junk food junkie so the very first meal I had after coming back to my home state was In N Out……I just about died craving that cheeseburger for oh so long; and yes, there is a secret menu. Besides food, a hometown allows the simple pleasures of your favorite sports teams, school alma maters, and watering holes.
Not to mention the nearby getaways only a local would know; that beach just a few hours away, that campsite in the mountains. Besides knowing where everything is I love not needing a GPS to get there. During that one PCS stint I recall a road trip to see a cousin for Thanksgiving; she was at a base just a few hours away. I was by myself with two young boys, no husband as he was literally detained by cadre somewhere back on post, and I was driving through the middle-of-nowhere-Alabama to Mississippi.
I’m good with directions and a GPS but the scenery looked like I was driving through an episode of Swamp People, and like a genuine southerner I prayed to God, to hurry through! This was a far cry from the California skyline I was used to….and this was before the show so everything was unfamiliar and a bit creepy.
4. Roots
I am not referring to the ones on your head, though military life can certainly make you want to pull your hair out by the roots or force your hair to premature graying. The roots I am speaking of here are the ones not normally associated with military life. I’m speaking of the roots a guard spouse and family can build, within their neighborhood, community, city and state.
As a guard family we have the pleasure of staying in one place; to buy houses we will actually live in for an extended period of time, have neighbors we will love/love to hate, and become involved in a community we are truly vested in. Besides roots for our kids to build upon and call one place home this life gives us a tremendous basis to create financial stability, build wealth, and plan for our future, like retirement. I am well aware all this happens for our active duty service members too, but I find great relief in being able to do it without the obstacles of active duty, because frankly I like my roots intact…the hair ones.
3. The Guard family
Anyone in the military, no matter what branch of service, knows when you’re in this kind of life you find family is more than just those who are blood related. For the guard service member and spouse that extended family starts early in the guard career and can last for years, maybe even to retirement.
With the delayed entry program a high school buddy can be a battle buddy at boot camp, and then years down the round maybe those two guardsmen go through OCS together. As a spouse this also means your families lives are intertwined, with changes in careers, deployments, marriages, babies, trials and tribulations the guard family becomes your family. My husband and I have served with and known our guard families for over 15 years!
We have watched each other’s children grow, whined, cried, laughed and complained over this military life. I know our soldier’s all feel the same way when they serve with each other too. I get an added comfort of knowing exactly who my husband serves and deploys with. These are guard members who very well have seen my thirteen, eleven and two year old boys in diapers, and I know that they have my husband’s back, and each other’s. I love my guard family, and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
2. My Family
Let me start by saying family nearby is both a burden and a blessing, but mostly the later. Mentioning this piece to my mom she said “perks, what perks?” Seriously mom?! Everything has perks, even this guard life. Most of you may be thinking that family should be number one…eh, almost. If you knew my family you would know why they’re a close second. (Love you guys!) It’s a wonderful thing to have family dinner nights, birthdays, and holidays together.
I’m glad we are in each other’s life without a geographical gap. Those who benefit the most? My children. I cannot express how much it PAINED me when my children had to say goodbye to my family for that one and only PCS move clear across the country. All day I had been emotionally calm, the moving truck was packed and my two boys strapped in for the long ride. Calm that is until my mom, sister and brother leaned into the car to give one last goodbye to the kids. COMPLETELY overwhelmed, the floodgates opened!
Mind you, I am not big on crying. Maybe incognito in the shower on a VERY bad day, or in the car when a patriotic country song comes on (Country and I have a love/hate relationship). All of a sudden, at that moment, I felt as if this move, this choice we had made, would deprive my children from people who love them very much and rob my family of the chance to see them grow. In the long run this move was the right choice and I can fondly recall the expressions on my boys’ faces and that of my family when they were reunited more than a year and a half later.
Another plus is how supportive family can be; it is the guard’s built-in support system. I know I would be losing my sanity, and be bald, if I did not have their support. Just to name a few, I have a mom who helps with the kids, a brother who is loved and adored as an uncle and a dad who though busy is quite the handyman and mechanic…and they are all on speed-dial!
1. LDRSHIP
No, that is not a spelling error, spell check did not fail, nor did the Military Spouse editors. I exactly meant it as L.D.R.S.H.I.P., and if you are Army than you already know I am referring to the Army Values. These values are at the core of what motivates every soldier to do what they do, and as a spouse who was once enlisted it also propels me to now support my soldier to the best of my ability.
Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage may have different implications on the battlefield and at home but they can be guiding principles for both. I TRY to live by these values and I feel it is a privilege to be a part of my soldier’s success and in turn the Army’s success. I have no doubt in my mind that the better spouse I am the better my soldier can do his job. For me these values do not translate to putting on the uniform and picking up a weapon, not anymore at least, but it certainly relates in other ways.
Sometimes, actually more often than not, I am in single-spouse-mode. Yes, this is one way I refer to myself during deployment, and maybe even when he is not deployed, because even in the guard not being deployed doesn’t mean he is ho10me. Right now, during a deployment, I wake up every morning…I have three children that need movement to three different places, I work an eight hour duty day, come home to make chow, kitchen patrol, hygiene time, lights out and still laundry/bill paying/etc., or if I’m lucky I veg out in front of the TV.
Phew…. I don’t know about you, but just thinking about it makes me tired! Motivation to march on? LDRSHIP, and my husband and children that I adore! My heart swells with pride knowing the contribution my family has made towards this country. Guard or active duty, spouse or service member, no matter your role or branch of service we all experience these values in some way. We loyally do our duty, respectful of one another, selflessly serving each other with honor, integrity and personal courage. HOOOAH!
By the way, shout out to the Air National Guard airmen, spouses and families! I know when most people hear National Guard they think Army and that is certainly not the case. Air guard and Army guard serve their country just the same…and so do their spouses. “Always Ready Always There”
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