It is finally here! You got the call and your soldier is officially going to be an Army Ranger.
I sincerely hope that you are able to make it down for his Wednesday and Thursday pass and, of course, are able to pin him during Ranger Graduation.
This is no small feat for either of you. As you celebrate and your soldier begins to reenter “normal life” again there are a few things that will make this transition go smoother and a few things that are important to consider.
Health
Your Ranger just spent 2-8 months literally being starved. On average soldiers lose 10-40 pounds during Ranger School. They are going to be hungry! For about 2 weeks after graduation your Ranger will be eating non-stop. They will eat because food is available, not necessarily because they are actually hungry. Let them. Their bodies need the food to heal and their minds need to re-build a healthy relationship with food on their own time. That being said, your soldier will likely gain back 20+ pounds. Their bodies will store it as fat instead of muscle. So, they are going to be a little extra heavy for a while, and that is okay!
Your Ranger will also need extra to sleep to heal and re-regulate. They may fall asleep on accident while they recuperate, so be careful. Wait a bit before letting them drive. Don’t leave them to watch the kids in the bath for the first week or two. During school they call soldiers “Sleepy Rangers” and it is very accurate. You will be able to tell when your Ranger has finally recovered, sleep wise. Keep an extra eye on them until them.
During Ranger School, soldiers are under an 80-100 pound ruck almost 24/7 while in the field. Make sure your Ranger sees a chiropractor. Usually 4-5 appointments will do the trick. Encourage your Ranger to stretch. When I finally convinced my husband to do yoga each night he felt so much better. Their body has been compressed under all that weight for months, they need to stretch it out!
Convince your Ranger to get a pedicure with you! Their feet are going to be so beat up (I have a picture of my husband’s, but I’ll let you just trust me!) My husband ending up loving it and got a second one a month later. The instructors will also recommend this.
The stress of Ranger School will cause your soldiers testosterone levels to plummet. This will affect their weight gain and sleep, like I mentioned above, but may also impact their desire to be intimate. They will have missed you so much and want to joy your company I am sure, but it may take a while for that aspect of your relationship to get back to usual. This is totally normal and something they cannot control. Try to be understanding and don’t fault yourself!
Reentry
Many people are concerned that their Ranger will act differently once home, after all they have just been starved, sleep-deprived, and put through combat simulations. Although I would love to say you Ranger will act exactly the same, that’s not exactly true. However, it is very unlikely that your Ranger will have drastic characteristic changes. Your Ranger’s normal mood will likely just be enhanced. So, if your Ranger has a tendency towards anger they might struggle with that more as they readjust. Or, like my husband, they might came back sweeter and gentler than ever.
Remember that this is going to be a readjustment for you, too. I was so happy for my husband to be home, but I had to get used to him being back. Acknowledge when you are struggling and communicate that. It’s really hard being completely independent for 2-8 months then suddenly jumping back into how life was before they left. It can be overwhelming, a little confusing, and even frustrating. Tackle these obstacles together—you will get through it if you are honest with each other.
What’s next?
Breathe. And enjoy.
Part 1: Helping your Soldier Prepare for Ranger School
Part 2: Making it Through While Your Spouse is at Ranger School