Military Life Relationships Spouse 101

Why Honeymoons are Wasted on the Young

This piece was originally published in our 2014 February print issue. To make sure you don’t miss any of the other great content from Military Spouse Magazine, please click here for subscription information.

Why Honeymoons are Wasted on the Young – The fairytale military life


Plenty of military couples decide to say “I do!” without waiting for the needs of the military to align with their desire to get hitched. Sensible? Yes. Disappointing? Yes, again.

I always laugh when I hear that Justin Bieber song on the radio, you know the one where he sings, “As long as you love me, we could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke…”? (Don’t judge me. I have a pre-teen. I will deny that I keep that song on in the car while I am alone… all day long and twice on Sunday.) Whatever you think of the boy’s music, he’s right: Nothing matters when you are fresh on the marriage scene!

As a young couple looks to their future with hopeful anticipation, it seems like the perfect time to go away together and start your marriage off relaxed, happy and love-struck. But is it?


Fast forward a decade or so. Add a couple of kids to the equation, plus a decade worth of bills, sickness, dirty laundry, burned dinners, fights about nothing, and road trips to visit the in-laws. Add also the extra stressors that military life can bring and staying married for a decade is truly something to be proud of. I adore my husband after 14 years of marriage, but there are days when I get on his very last nerve, and he’s all over mine.

We get caught up in the everyday humdrum of careers, kids and adult responsibilities that we can neglect each other so…


This is when that expensive honeymoom – that magical trip to a faraway place that’s nothing like home – is exactly what you two lovebirds really need. On the rare occasions that my husband and I get to be completely alone, away from the everyday craziness of our lives, we notice that we are a lot more patient with one another. We hold hands, we talk and connect again.

It’s not that we can’t do those things every day, but it is just honestly something that gets lost. It is sometimes a challenge, especially being a military family, to get away without the kids… but something we have found to be vitally important in our marriage.


So if you have just gotten married and you are disappointed that you didn’t get to take that honeymoon you always dreamed of just yet, don’t despair. Celebrate. Start a honeymoon fund now, and keep building it for five years, or even a decade. Then, when you are up to your eyeballs in responsibility, kids, careers, and life, take a step away from the craziness and reconnect with your spouse on a level that you may have set on the back burner over the years.

Your marriage, and your sanity, will both thank you.


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