Why Your New Year’s Resolutions Always Suck

I was wracking my brain trying to figure out how to make this funny, positive, and overall honest. I have sat here and stared at a few words on the screen for about an hour thinking about my own New Year’s Resolutions.

Then it hit me.

Did I even want to make any New Year’s Resolutions this year?

I don’t always make the best decisions; I’m a huge procrastinator and have very little self control. Most of the common resolutions involved losing weight, quitting smoking, quitting biting my nails, learning how to cook, and many others along those lines. I found out that these are also common among EVERYONE else! So let’s break it down.

Thinking you are just going to jump in and do things on the first day of a new year is kind of ridiculous. You have gone this long without doing so what makes you think you are going to jump and do it this time?

Like losing weight.

I am large, I know I am large but I don’t need my husband saying, “Hey, babe, why don’t you do a few sit ups instead of eating that donut.” Ok, maybe I do need him to say that because oh that donut looks so very yummy and my tummy is already growing just looking at it. I love food, I really love food even though I am also a picky eater. My biggest problem is?

I DISLIKE ALL THINGS HEALTHY.

You know like veggies, fruit, and such. I love my big fat greasy hamburger with bacon, cheese, bbq sauce on a toasted bun with a side of jumbo fries and a Dr. Pepper. Are you craving yet? I certainly am. That is where my self control flies directly out of the window. Why would anyone make losing weight a New Year’s Resolution? This is something that needs the entire year of control and discipline to work on. You are guaranteed to fail if you make it a resolution.

How about instead make the choice to make a Lifestyle change? Work on slowly getting healthier foods into your life, taking walks, and maintaining this as a habit. You will be tons more successful than if you just think you can run that local 5K tomorrow.

I have a huge problem with setting myself up for failure. I mean seriously, I think I am going to be a millionaire tomorrow and change the world with a snap of my finger. Ok, maybe I dreamed that one last night instead. But am I really that far off?

Most of us begin thinking of huge accomplishments that we want when in reality what we need to focus on are the small changes that can make the biggest impact. Starting a small project and working on it until it is finished will make your heart sing. There is no way I am going to go straight into congress and change the homeless veteran problem without first starting in my local community and connecting with others who are working on the same problem. Start small, but THINK BIG!

Next is procrastination.

I laugh at this one every single time. “Oh, well, I will do it tomorrow.” This is the phrase that continues to make your resolutions suck, because every time you say this, you will NEVER accomplish your resolution and will make the exact same resolution next year and the next year and the next year. Stop saying that phrase and you will not be in the everlasting loop of sucky resolutions.

Every single year we make a resolution and 9 times out of 10 they always suck because some of them can be unrealistic, we lose interest, or we just do not have the control to continue on that path. As a military spouse we are used to change and are usually very good at adapting and overcoming the change that is thrown our way. So, why do we make New Year’s Resolutions that suck? Because we can, that’s why. We may or may not succeed at making our New Year’s Resolution but we made one anyways. Looking back on 2015, I see a load of things I did and a bigger load of things I could have done differently. I didn’t lose as much weight as I thought I would (was hoping to have a Victoria Secret model hiding under this flab), BUT I did quit smoking (slipped a few times) but I did eventually kick the habit. I did not stop chewing on my nails, but let me tell you something I did accomplish. I was able to bring a community together, help friends in need, be there for my family when we lost relatives, watch my husband retire, move to a new location and see my daughters have a wonderful Christmas.

My Resolutions always Suck but my year was full of adventure. What resolution will suck for you in 2016?

Mine?

I think I still need to learn to cook, Hubby is sick of takeout (MMMMMmmm Cheeseburger) or burnt pork chops.

Happy New Year!

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Mindy Brewster: Mindy Brewster is the proud spouse of a Navy Seabee and mother of 2 amazing daughters. Mindy devotes her time to family and friends as well as an advocate at each station helping other spouses navigate the Military Life.
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