April 1st is a day each year that pranksters and jokester look forward to stirring the pot with gags and tricks that generate genuine laughter. There is satisfaction in pulling one over on someone that can put a little pep in your step. The jests are simple fun that, for the most part, avoid causing harm to the no-so-lucky one on the other end of the joke. A joke amongst friends about an all-expenses-paid trip together or a prank like rubber banding the kitchen sink sprayer by the kids is good for a giggle.
Before the internet, you had to tell a joke or set a prank in real life to ‘get’ someone, and even local papers printed fabricated headlines or stories to get in on the fun. Some jokes, while they may seem funny, can take an unexpected turn and, with the power of the internet, can span the globe in hours. Fake pregnancy announcements are one such prank. No matter how innocent a pregnancy announcement may seem on April 1st, they may not land the way the creator originally envisioned.
The motive of the pregnancy gag is not in question here; it is the outcome and potential consequences that linger long after that we should be concerned about.
Why is a fake pregnancy announcement not as funny as we think? We cannot fully understand the effects of the joke and who it will reach. RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association’s numbers reflect that currently, 1 in 5 women of childbearing age has difficulty getting pregnant. If you are friends with, say, 100 women on a social media platform, 20, if not more, could be struggling with family-building challenges.
For those experiencing infertility, they are asking themselves, ‘Why me?’ The feelings of embarrassment and brokenness are heavy for a woman experiencing these challenges. Her days are spent engulfed in worry when she is not searching for the best fertility diet and watching the clock to make sure she takes her medications at the exact right time each day. When she has a spare minute, the woman same woman is searching for answers that she may never find, and even once she has made peace with her disease, the pain can creep back in when she least expects it. Sometimes in the form of an April Fool’s joke. The intent may be harmless, but the result is painful.
In that group of 100 women, some may have experienced the unimaginable and indescribable pain of a miscarriage or stillbirth. When that fake pregnancy announcement rolls across their feed, it can send them back to those painful, grief-filled moments from days, months, or years ago. At the end of the day, no one wants to be the butt of a joke, and the compassionate thing to do is weigh the cost of the effect of such a prank.
As we settle into April and National Infertility Awareness Week at the end of the month, I hope that you will remember the invisible pain, both physical and emotional, of infertility is alive within many in your sphere of influence. Holding space for one another’s pain may be the kindest thing that happens to an infertility warrior. Let’s lead with compassion because you never know what someone else is going through.