<h4>In days gone by, faith was a major player in marriage. Families went as a whole unit to worship in whatever manner they believed in. Single men and women were able to meet start a traditional courtship that led to a marriage between two people of the same faith who agreed that their families would do the same things they did. Go to church, introduce their single children to other singles and repeat the cycle for generations. But as religious practices have changed so has faith in marriages.</h4> Now more than 25% of American marriages are between couples who consider themselves to be <strong>inter-faith</strong> couples. In other words, more and more couples are marrying someone who does not share the same faith as them. My husband and I are part of the inter-faith statistic. My church teaches the traditional thought that people should marry a partner with the same faith and beliefs as they hold. In fact, when I asked one pastor what advice he would give to inter-faith couples about getting married he outright said “don’t do it!” I have to laugh at that because I know from experience that it can work, it just might be a bit more challenging. I am stronger in my faith than my husband so I asked how he feels about the differences. “I deal with it with a very relaxed way. I have a very Agnostic view, buy you are pretty darn strong in your faith. I don't find it to be a problem at all. I believe it’s due to both of us being open and accepting the other's beliefs. As for before we were married, I've always had a firm belief that I will be taken care of, so long as I continue to take care of those that are deserving or in need. Karma, so to speak, but I've never believed too strong in a single religion.” While he might not identify as Christian like I do, he is still spiritual and I think that goes a lot way towards closing the gap between our beliefs. If you and your spouse are of different faiths, it’s very important that you openly and respectfully discuss what your expectations are when it comes to practicing your faith. My husband knew from the first week we met that religion was important to me. He knew I was active my church and not just a Christmas and Easter Christian. I knew where he stood as well and have never pressured him to join me when I attend church. I always like having him there when he’s in town and I appreciate him helping me find a church to attend when I’m able to visit him, but I don’t expect him to just wake up one day and believe the same thing as I do any more than he expects me to just give up my beliefs.<!--nextpage--> If you two do have different beliefs then one of the biggest conversations you need to have is about children. You know that talking about how to raise children is important, but when you share different faiths you need to talk to your spouse about which faith you want to raise your children in. My parents were raised very traditional Catholic and agreed when they had children they would allow us to figure out our own path. For my sister that meant picking no religion. For me it meant trying out all of them before I settled into a church that I felt was home with beliefs that I could stand behind. My husband and I have discussed what we would do if we decide to have children. I do believe allowing them to have the freedom to choose their own path is the right thing to do but it is also important to me that they be exposed to my faith and my traditions. My husband might not follow the same religious path as me, but he respects what I believe in and understands why it is so important to me that our children are raised in the church but with free will. I spoke to Dana, a first-time parent this year, about how she and her husband deal with the differences in their faith when it comes to children. “I'm Catholic, Ben's not. For me, it was important enough that before we got married we agreed that we would raise our children as Catholic and he would come to church with us to help foster that. I definitely feel it needs to be a before-marriage discussion, especially when you want kids. It's one thing you say, 'oh I love you no matter what religion and it will all work out,' and another to actually make it work.” Even if you and your spouse do come to an agreement on how children will be raised, it can be a struggle. Dana told me about a Christian friend of hers that is married a Jewish man. The two agreed to raise the children Jewish, but the wife still struggles with that decision. She often feels like her children are missing out on things on Christian holidays when their cousins are discussing Christmas traditions and hunting for Easter eggs. If it comes to that, where one spouse is starting to resent the other's faith, it might be time to discuss again where you stand on traditions. It’s important that you are willing to embrace your differences without making your partner feel uncomfortable. It doesn’t hurt to do a little research on the traditions of the faith your spouse practices. Learn about the Holy days and the importance of why they do things a specific way. You don’t need to agree with their beliefs and you don’t need to follow traditions that are completely opposite of your own but by educating yourself on those things you can show your spouse that you understand it’s an important part of who they are. <!--nextpage--> <h2>Now see....</h2> <h2><a href="https://militaryspouse.com/holidays/11-sure-fire-gifts-military-dads-will-actually-love/" target="_blank">11 Sure-fire Gifts Dads Will Actually Love</a></h2> <div class="pageFbLike fbLarge" style="color: #555555;"><span class="likeUsOnFb">Connect with us on Facebook!</span></div> <div class="pageFbLike fbLarge" style="color: #555555;"><iframe style="border: none; overflow: hidden; width: 250px; height: 62px;" src="//www.facebook.com/plugins/likebox.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FMilitarySpouse&width=250&height=62&colorscheme=light&show_faces=false&header=false&stream=false&show_border=false&appId=811938475492059" width="300" height="150" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div>
