Want A Well Adjusted Military Child? Have a Positive Attitude.

As parents, we know that our behavior has an impact on our children. As military families, we assume that the “military life” has an even greater impact on them. With the frequent moves, deployments, new schools, establishing new peer groups and new routines; these factors mold our military children. However, in a study published by the Military Medicine and the Association of Military Surgeons of the United States, the most contributing factor to having a well-adjusted military child is the relationship with mom (or dad, depending on who the civilian parent might be.)

Conducted in 2003, the study states that having a good relationship with your children can become a buffer for the stressful factors the military family endures. Many factors are considered and reviewed in this study like the length of time in one location, the age of the child, peer groups and social behavior. The findings were fascinating to discover, but both heartbreaking and reassuring at the same time.

Frequent Moves Affect Military Kids

According to the study, military children who move more frequently experience a greater difficulty making new friends, have more difficulty in school and more emotional and behavior problems. However, researchers believe that the longer children have lived in one residence, the better their peer relationships and they (the children) report less loneliness.

Moving is a fact of life for many of us. Many military career decisions are based on upcoming assignments and relocating. Active duty members worry about the affect that changing schools or location may have on their children. Many choose to leave the service all together. While others decide to move to the next assignment alone, without the family, to ensure stability for their children. Most of our civilian counterparts never have to make these difficult decisions for their family.

The military life for a child can be more challenging depending on their age. If they have just entered school for the first time or they are in their adolescent years forming strong peer groups, the study suggests that these groups struggle more with relocation. Researchers believe these groups are vulnerable because of the development stage they are in. Both groups are struggling to separate from their parents at different stages. However, the study does explain some of the positive effects of being a military kid.

The study states, “…many adolescent children reported leaving friends, changing schools and navigating new surroundings as stressful, but the ability to start over and “recreate themselves” at a new location was perceived as positive. It was found that the more moves military children had experienced, the higher their participation in social activities. Thus, moving may promote the child’s learning to adjust to new situations.” This little fact just confirms what we already know about our kids and ourselves.

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Stacy Huisman: Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman is an Air Force spouse, writer, mother and advocate within the military spouse community. As a former Parent-to-Parent trainer for Military Child Education Coalition, she led workshops and seminars on many topics related to the education of military-connected students. She is the coauthor with Dr. Amanda Trimillos of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers (Elva Resa, 2018). In her “other” life, she worked in public affairs and project management for the city of Las Vegas for 14 years. She was the Executive Director for the Las Vegas Centennial. She had a hand in baking the world largest birthday cake, hosting a 100,000 person parade, marrying 100 couples at once, organizing an amazing Red Hot Chili Peppers concert and managing 450 other events, programs and public relations celebrating her hometown birthday! She met her husband while he was stationed at Nellis AFB. She was whisked away on a crazy military spouse journey around the globe and hasn’t looked back since – only forward. Stacy is connected to many aspects of military life. She writes for one of our other Victory Media publications - GI Jobs Magazine - where she features successful transitioned Veterans in the workforce. She continues to write for myriad of websites and blogs, including a mini-think tank she co-founded called Families on the Home Front. Stacy was published in the popular book Stories Around the Table - Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life. She is also a judge for Operation Homefront's Military Child of the Year 2015.
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