A few weeks ago I had surgery. It put me off my feet for a while and because of having stitches in my feet I couldn’t take a normal shower. I am not one of those people who find enjoyment in taking long relaxing bubble baths with a glass of wine and a good book.
No, I am one of those people who feels like a bath is nothing more than people soup and I never feel clean after I get out of the tub. And forget washing my hair in there. That is a useless task! So after being medicated and crabby and in pain for two days and only being allowed to take a bath and not washing my hair I was ready to cry. All I wanted was to feel clean.
So what does the Mr. do? He went above and beyond the call of duty to hand wash a sink full of dishes (and all the ones waiting in the dishwasher too because we needed dish soap) just so that the kitchen sink could be turned into a beauty salon. My big bad tough guy grabbed my fruity shampoo and conditioner, pulled up a chair, and washed my hair for me in the sink. He even went so far as to sit there patiently brushing out every single tangle just so that I felt better.
Now this might not sound like much to you but to me it was the most romantic thing he could have done in our military marriage. Often the most romantic gestures our spouses are making don’t fit the mold of traditional romance. I asked around to find out how other people define romance in military marriage. Some of the answers brought tears to my eyes.
Casey (VA) | When he set the table with string cheese as our appetizer before a home cooked dinner.
John (VA) | For Easter, because we didn’t have any kids yet, I hid my wife’s favorite bottle drinks with ribbons tied around the neck all over the house instead of Easter eggs. I surprised her with a new purse to use as her Easter basket for the hunt.
Shari (MI) | I lost the diamond out of my engagement ring one year. He bought it with the money he earned in Marine Corps boot camp nearly 30 years ago. He was on deployment in Australia when I lost it. He called that day and I was crying. When he asked what was wrong and I told him he said, “Good. I’ve been wanting to get you a better one.” He bought me a new diamond ring in Australia. But that is not even the most romantic part. A while later he took my old engagement ring, a topaz stone we bought on our 10th anniversary cruise, and our 2 children to a jeweler and created a beautiful new ring and gave it to me for my birthday.
Lisa (FL) | After having a hysterectomy due to ovarian cancer, I suffered from depression and several post op lengthy hospital stays. He was LPO of his division and slammed with evals so it was hard for him to spend much time with me during visiting hours at the hospital. 9 days at a time in a hospital isn’t the “vacation” most would think as the meals were bland, little privacy and constant poking and prodding. Even with the flow of visitors and kind staff, I was lonely and homesick. He bribed the nursing staff with candy and when I woke up one night out of my pain medication induced hazes, I rolled over and he was next to me. Barely next to me, as he was pretty much hanging off the bed due to all my tubes and wires. We had some of our most intimate talks ever that night and he listened and comforted me in “our” loss. No more cancer, but no chance of me ever having a child of his. We spoke of good things yet to come and he’s been there ever since through sickness and in health. Him being there that night and us whispering for hours was one of the most romantic things he’s ever done for me.
Krystal (OH) | My husband threw an amazing surprise birthday party for me. Hosting anything is completely out of his comfort zone. On top of the surprise of the party, he also flew my father in from Virginia without me knowing about it! Talk about ugly crying. It might not be considered “romance” to others, but it was definitely a reassurance of how much he loves me.
April (VA) | I asked him if he was going to be home for dinner. He sent a text message back stating he would love to have dinner with his princess – simple but meant so much to me.
Erin (OH) | When I was pregnant, I was super uncomfortable. My body hurt after working all day. I got in the shower and when I opened the shower curtain he was standing there with a warm fluffed towel for me.
Daniel (CA) | She wrote “I love you” on the bathroom mirror. I saw it while getting out of the shower in the morning, after the mirror had fogged up.
Kelly (VA) | For Valentines, my husband made my daughter and me each a bouquet of paper flowers on stems that had a note attached to each one stating something that he loved about each of us. These were not superficial things but things we didn’t know we had done that made an impression on him. We still have these and that was quite a few years ago.
Courtney (FL) | He woke up early on a Saturday to take care of all the house chores while he let me sleep. I woke up to a mowed yard, clean house, folded laundry, and breakfast ready to eat.
Audra (VA) | My husband cleans the house for me on a regular basis. He does my laundry every week and folds it. He brings me coffee when he is out because he knows I love it and he rubs my feet almost every night while we watch TV together. He is romantic every day.
Aisha (VA) | He leaves handwritten notes or cards randomly for no reason. He will bring home my favorite candy bar or ice cream out of the blue. He will bring me breakfast in bed that is sometimes arranged so pretty I don’t want to touch it. It’s not one thing. It’s a bunch of little things that warm the heart and keep things going for our family.
Dionne (LA) | My husband stayed in bed with me all day and watched movies because I wasn’t feeling well after a fibromyalgia flair up. It’s still one of the sweetest things he can do with me!
Heather (VA) | What makes me feel most loved is touch; he holds my hand, which makes me fell especially loved, since he is not a touchy person. It completely makes me feel loved because he put himself aside to do so. The fact that he thinks about my love language and purposely uses it means a lot.
Jessica (VA) | On our anniversary morning he made me breakfast and spelled out “I <3 U” in bacon! I know it’s so silly but it warmed my heart so much!! He also likes to leave me random love notes with chocolate. He clearly knows the quickest way to my heart: bacon, love notes, and chocolate!
Brittany (VA) | One of my favorite memories would have to be when he got me our dog, Zoey. We had left the fertility clinic after receiving some bad news so I decided to go to Charlotte and visit my family. When I came home he surprised me with her. He had driven 3 hours just to pick her up because he knew how much I wanted that particular dog. He always knows how to make me smile.
We’d love to hear from you how romance is defined in your military marriage! Comment below.
Now read, more on how to keep romance in military marriage!