3. Stay in the present moment
Worrying about our children’s future is natural, but doing so during a heated discussion is not the right time.
Unfortunately, it’s easy for us to take one moment of our child’s negative behavior and create a dizzying story about how it might ruin the child’s life.
Army mom, Jillian, understands. “I remember arguing with my son about his disrespect toward a teacher,” says Jillian, “and suddenly I started thinking about how that disrespect would follow him through school and cause him to fail classes and lose friends. He was standing in front of me at 13 but in my mind I already had him rude and friendless at 33.”
Frazier acknowledges that contemplating worst case scenarios is a common problem for parents, but it’s simply because we love our children and want to give them the best life possible.
She suggests that parents avoid letting their thoughts wander into story mode during such discussions. Without that distraction, she says, parents can focus better on the specific issue at hand rather than become overwhelmed about random what-ifs of the future.
