The PERFECT V-Day Care Package

Photo Credit: Wisconsin National Guard

Some people say that Valentine’s Day is one of the most romantic days of the year. Right…tell THAT to a military spouse who is flying solo due to a deployment or separation! For some of us, V-Day is the pits! Here we are trying to stay connected to our service member through email or the occasional Skype chat while the rest of the world is just OOOOZING with lovey-dovey kisses and hugs. Sometimes, it might make you want to vomit. You are absolutely allowed to have this mind set. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I myself have allowed jealousy to creep in once or twice when I would see pictures on Facebook or Twitter of my friends with their husbands and wives cuddling together for a V-Day selfie. Then I remember that THIS IS MY LIFE. Like all things related to military life, I just have to get creative when it comes to maintaining the spark in my marriage. Care packages are just another one of those creative things we get to do! (Check out Macy's quick gift guide.) Now I don’t know about you, but I am a horrible gift-giver when it comes to my husband. (Although these Etsy gifts for servicemembers on GIJobs.com are seriously amazing...) I can never quite figure out what it is that he wants. I would send him cards with lipstick kisses on them. I would write lengthy love letters pledging my mushy-gushy love to him. Once, I even sent him a Beanie Baby. (Yea…THAT happened.) Wrong, wrong, WRONG! Those are all the things I would have wanted from him (minus the lipstick cards!). What I SHOULD have done was thought about what I would have wanted if I were HIM. Recently I was perusing a back-issue of the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology (because that’s what I do for fun on a Saturday night!) It was titled “ Give them what they want: The benefits of explicitness in gift exchange.” If you’re a geek like me, you can find it here . What stood out to me in one of the articles was where it stated that, “the gifts that recipients appreciate the most are the ones that they’ve explicitly requested.” Imagine that! So I decided to get some feedback from some service members who are preparing to deploy, and I asked them what they would like to see in their own care packages. Here are their answers combined with my tips for the PERFECT Valentine’s Day care package: Items to Beat Boredom Movies: Pick a favorite movie that means something to both of you; preferably one that you could both watch over and over again, without getting sick of it. (Start with these V-Day Movie Deals!) A Deck of Cards: On all of the face cards in the deck, glue or tape a picture of you, your kids, or your dog (and for an added laugh, a picture of HIM on the Joker card!) Books or E-Readers: Pick a few books that you might both enjoy! When you email one another, you could review the book together. Don’t like the same types of books? Try reading something they like and vice versa. You might be surprised just how much you learn about a person through what they like to read. Personal Items Necessities: I can’t tell you how many service members told me that they would LOVE to have practical and useful things like brand named body wash, lens cleaning cloths, baby-wipes, underwear and SOCKS! Socks were a big one. It doesn’t sound romantic, but here’s where the creativity comes in. Instead of using packing materials to secure all the awesome items you’re sending across the world, use socks, underwear and t-shirts to protect their goodies. For an added touch, put sticky notes with encouraging quotes inside each t-shirt or sock! Snacks: Sometimes our service members just want a taste of home. Sure, pack their favorite chips and candy, but what about condiments? Their favorite hot sauce slathered on some of the less than desirable food they encounter would potentially kick-start their limbic-system, (the part of our brains that involve emotion and memory,) instantly transforming you into wifey/hubby of the year! Items from the Heart USB Drive: Maybe they can’t physically be there to see your lovely face every day or see your baby’s first steps, but you can try to make sure that they do see it! If they packed a lap-top or tablet to bring with them, then send a USB drive loaded with videos and pictures that will give them the pick-me-up that they might need while their thousands of miles away from home. CD’s: If you’re in a really sappy mood, then upload some music that reminds you of them and that would remind them of you. Do you remember making mixed tapes for your main-squeeze back in the day? (Yes, I do realize that I just dated myself). BONUS TRACK- If you can carry a tune, record yourself singing their favorite song. Shoot, even if you can’t carry a tune, at least you made them smile (or laugh)! A Day with YOU: From sun-up to sun-down, keep your camera by your side. Take a picture of yourself first thing in the morning. Take a picture of their favorite coffee cup (and YOU using it). Snap a photo of your living room, your yard, your mailbox and your car. Are you watching your favorite show? Take a picture of the TV (and of YOU holding the remote!) Take a picture everywhere you go, every hour on the hour. Put all of these comforts of home on an SD card that can run as a slideshow on their lap-top. Digital Watch: Buy two digital watches; one for them and one for you. (Click here for a few options!) Set the time on each watch according to the time zone you are each in (hint: their watch should have a different time if they are out of your time zone). Set the alarm for both watches to go off at 12:00 pm YOUR time. No matter where either of you are at, each day at noon the alarm will sound and you will both immediately begin thinking of one another at the same time. So there you have it. I hope some of these ideas will work for you and your service member. Do you have any unique care package ideas that you would like to share? Tell us some of the things that YOU have done to stay connected during a separation! For more unique gift ideas, check out Gifted Living and get 20% off and free shipping! Use the code MilSpouseValentine15 at checkout. Let’s be friends!

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