Written By: ICDC College Staff
Being married to a member of the military is very difficult for a number of reasons. With long deployments and frequent moves as part of the landscape, there’s seemingly no end to the stressors.
Here are just a few of some of the more common challenges when it comes to being a Military Spouse, and a few tips on how to cope with each.
Taking advantage of Educational Benefits
The great thing about being a Military Spouse is that the government has your back! Not only are they paying your spouse’s paycheck, but they provide you with several benefits (assuming you take advantage of them). One of those benefits is in regards to Education. There are a variety of Educational Benefits for you to take advantage of, including the Post 9/11 GI Bill Transferability which allows career service members to share their remaining GI Bill education benefits with immediate family members. [1]
Another great plan is the Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA) program which provides up to $4,000 of Financial Assistance for military spouses who are pursuing degree programs, licenses or credentials leading to employment in portable career fields.
But that’s not to say there aren’t challenges. Eligibility for the benefits is complicated. And anytime there’s government money involved, there are plenty of applications to be concerned with.
For example, to be eligible to transfer GI Bill benefits, service members must have at least six years of service and an obligation to serve at least four more.[2]
And the MyCAA progam is limited to spouses of active duty service members in pay grades E1-E5, W1-W2, and O1-O2, and must be able to start and complete their courses while their sponsor is on Title 10 orders.[3]
One of the best resources for dealing with MyCAA military spouse benefits challenges is MilitaryOneSource.com. Military Friendly colleges such as ICDC College are also very helpful with understanding eligibility and properly submitting the correct forms.
Absence of Spouse
There’s no question that the toughest part of being a military spouse is when your husband or wife is deployed – even for a short period of time. Many emotions are likely to swirl. In fact, recent studies have shown that depression is a major issue in spouses of military personnel, especially with one being deployed.[4]
(This is especially true if the military spouse left at home is the husband. Men may be less inclined than women to seek support or to open up about their struggles, and civilian men married to a service member are twice or a little more than twice as likely to divorce.)[5]
If you find yourself in such a situation, there are several coping strategies that have been culled from people just like you dealing with situations just like this.
Join a club! Make friends! Get a job or Take on a new project at your current job.
Probably the most common refrain is to stay active. Meet people, especially those in similar situations. Work together and help each other out, not only in terms of everyday tasks but simply in terms of being there and listening.
If you reach a point where you feel professional help will be more beneficial, there are resources at your disposal. Spouses can connect with a counselor through the TRICARE military health care system or through their installation’s family support center.[6]
Finding/Keeping a job
Many people may not be aware of the special demands and difficulties faced by military spouses when it comes to finding and keeping a job. But if you keep in mind how often military families are apt to move around, you get a clear understanding of their career challenges.
In fact, one study found that 90% of responding female spouses of active duty service members report being underemployed, meaning they possess more formal education/experience than needed at their current or most recent position.[7]
In addition to frequent moves, other factors affecting their unemployment or underemployment include employer perceptions of military spouses, inability to match skills and education to jobs, inflexible work schedules and high childcare costs.[8]
So what is a military spouse to do? Certainly much of the onus is on the government and the military to reduce the moves a military family must make or provide more programs to support relocation especially as it relates to childcare services – or make the existence of such programs more readily known. The Military Spouse Employment Report also suggests that the Military should “consider programs and/or policies that would facilitate online accredited education opportunities for military spouses, and to provide information about how to value online degree programs.”[9]
But until that day comes, help yourself by seeking the support of programs such as the Spouse Education and Career Opportunities (SECO) which offers comprehensive education and career support for such things as:
- Career Exploration
- Education, Training, and Licensure
- Employment Readiness
- Career Connections[10]
Or the MilSpouse eMentor Leadership Program, which offers three types of mentors: corporate mentors from military spouse-friendly employers, career mentors from industries or career fields, and peer mentors.[11]
Military spouse challenges will always exist, but support is available. Remain dedicated to finding the proper resource to help you navigate any and all obstacles. And thank you for your service to this country!
[1] Military.com, “Military Spouse and Family Education Assistance Programs.” https://www.military.com/education/money-for-school/military-spouse-and-family-educational-assistance-programs.html (Date Accessed: 1/13/15)
[2] Military.com, “Military Spouse and Family Education Assistance Programs.” https://www.military.com/education/money-for-school/military-spouse-and-family-educational-assistance-programs.html (Date Accessed: 1/13/15)
[3] Military.com, “Military Spouse and Family Education Assistance Programs.” https://www.military.com/education/money-for-school/military-spouse-and-family-educational-assistance-programs.html (Date Accessed: 1/13/15)
[4] Examiner.com, “Stress and the military spouse.” https://www.examiner.com/article/stress-and-the-military-spouse (Date: 10/18/09)
[5] Defense.gov, “Male Military Spouses Cope With Added Challenges, Expert Says.” https://www.defense.gov/news/newsarticle.aspx?id=64912 (Date: 8/3/11)
[6] Defense.gov, “Male Military Spouses Cope With Added Challenges, Expert Says.” https://www.defense.gov/news/newsarticle.aspx?id=64912 (Date: 8/3/11)
[7] Syracuse University Institute for Veterans and Military Families, “2013 Military Spouse Study Finds 90% of Responding Female Spouses of Active Duty Service Members are Underemployed.” https://vets.syr.edu/2013-military-spouse-study-finds-90-of-responding-female-spouses-of-active-duty-service-members-are-underemployed (Date: 2/12/14)
[8] Syracuse University Institute for Veterans and Military Families, “2013 Military Spouse Study Finds 90% of Responding Female Spouses of Active Duty Service Members are Underemployed.” https://vets.syr.edu/2013-military-spouse-study-finds-90-of-responding-female-spouses-of-active-duty-service-members-are-underemployed (Date: 2/12/14)
[9] Syracuse University Institute for Veterans and Military Families, “Military Spouse Employment Report.” https://vets.syr.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/MilitarySpouseEmploymentReport_2013.pdf (Date: 2/14)
[10] MilitaryOneSource.com, “How to Minimize Spouse Employment Challenges.” https://www.militaryonesource.mil/seco?content_id=267624
(Date accessed: 1/13/15)
[11] MilitaryOneSource.com, “How to Minimize Spouse Employment Challenges.” https://www.militaryonesource.mil/seco?content_id=267624
(Date accessed: 1/13/15)