11 Ways Books Can Ease the Stress of Deployment
by Heather Heyford
As a grown-up military brat and multi-published author, I can relate. Born in Pennsylvania, I learned to talk in Texas, then moved to England. “Ya’ll want some scones?”
I’ll never forget the time my mother juggled breast-feeding my baby brother while successfully persuading a waitress to dry my sister’s underpants under the broiler in the airport diner. At times like those, where would I have been without Charlotte’s Web and Little House on the Prairie? (Laura Ingalls Wilder’s family was highly mobile, too, although they traveled by covered, vs. station wagon.) By our next move, I had welcomed Little Women’s Meg, Beth and Amy as well as girl detective, Trixie Belden into my rich inner world of characters.
From Amarillo to Paris, there was always one constant in our lives, and that was books. Even in glamorous settings, without books, life would have been duller, not to mention lonelier.
Here are eleven ways that books can help ease the family upheaval caused by frequent deployments:
- Books are cheap. Where else can you get hours of entertainment for less than a fancy coffee drink?
- Portability. Reading keeps little hands and minds busy while traveling. A book or an ereader doesn’t take up much space and is light enough for even a small child to carry. Especially now, in the digital age, each family member can keep his or her entire library with them at all times, tucked neatly into backpacks or purses. Not only can reading keep you and your kids occupied during long flights and cross-country drives, but unlike larger toys such as bikes, you don’t have to wait for the movers to transport them once you’ve arrived at your destination.
- Reading is a solitary sport, which means that even if you don’t know a soul at your new base or post, your character friends are always with you, a welcome relief in unsettled times.
- Books can unite kids with the absent spouse. During long separations, read to children about mom or dad’s faraway post. Night Catch by Brenda Ehrmantraut tells the story of a deployed soldier who uses the North Star to have a nightly game of catch with his son.
- Reading as a reminder of home. Simply bringing along well-loved books is a comfort in and of itself, but there’s always room to add to your collection. Before you leave, pick up some books by which to remember your home or most recent posting. Or check out Bye Bye, Homesickness: How to Cope with Homesickness by Marion Sonnenmoser, the heartwarming story of a little girl growing up in an unfamiliar place.
- The more kids read, the better they get at it. Reading is a workout for the mind. While watching TV is passive, strong readers learn focus, concentration and improve their vocabulary, in addition to absorbing facts about people, places and events outside their own experience. It seems self-evident that reading improves grades in the language arts. Without a steady diet of the classics, I never would have become a writer. But reading is a necessary skill in every subject area. The more children learn, the more they’ll have to share. They’ll think faster, solve problems smarter, and converse better. And that’s a good thing, because . . .
- . . . being the new kid isn’t easy.In the lonely first days of a move, reading as a family, telling bedtime stories and scouting out the local library are ways of spending time together that can bring you closer and ease loneliness. Reading can also teach children how other kids deal with moving. The Home is Where Book Series, https://www.homeiswherebooks.com/ is aimed specifically at helping younger kids get excited about and adjust to a new duty station.
There are even books that make light of what it feels like to need new friends, like David Mackintosh’s Marshall Armstrong Is New to Our School.
- Reading helps develop empathy. When children read, their brains translate text into pictures, enabling them to imagine how a character is feeling and how they would feel in that situation. Many companies list empathy as a core skill for employment and one that is vital to advancement to a leadership position.
- Back to that flight attendant speech. You’ve heard it time and again: “Secure your own oxygen mask firstbefore helping others.” It’s tough being a military spouse. Don’t forget to take care of you. Once you’re settled in, books can help adults make new friends, too. Book talk is a great conversation opener. Chances are at least someone you know will have read the latest best-seller. Want to connect with real, flesh-and-blood people? Join a book club that meets in person, or start one of your own. Or, keep in touch via an on-line organization, such as the Military Spouse Book Club. Every month they choose a new book to read and discuss at https://militaryspouse.com/bookclub.
- Reading is a simple and enjoyable way to treat yourself, and you don’t even have to wait for the moving van to deliver your wine glasses and bubble bath. As soon as the kids are finally settled in their beds (or sleeping bags, as may be), squirt some dish detergent into a warm bath. Pour your favorite adult beverage, relax and get swept away to the lush wine country with First Comes Love, a heartfelt, tender romance about a transplanted single mother who learns what it means to go home again. I wrote it after visiting my daughter, who lives across the country from me. She says I have no one but myself to blame for giving her the travel bug. Given that I took her to France to see one of my childhood homes when she was just ten, I guess she’s right.
Frequent moves are an inevitable part of being a military child. But the adventures and a unique sense of identity more than make up for the down side. I learned how to talk to virtually anybody, in any setting. My school field trips were to places like Stonehenge. Frequent moves, though sometimes hard, helped me mature quickly and learn resilience. The flexibility that started early in my life has served me well throughout my adult years. I’m proud to belong to the military brat subculture.
- Last but not least, Fall in love with reading, and you—or your child—might become a writer, just like me.
Want to get your hands on Heather Heyford’s latest novel, FIRST COMES LOVE? Click on the cover below!
Heather Heyford is the author of contemporary romances set in the wine country. See what inspires her writing on her many Pinterest boards, read more about her on HeatherHeyford.com, and connect with her on Facebook and Instagram.