7. “Why do military dudes wear such tiny shorts?”
The question we’ve asked ourselves no less than a million times. But like the Tootsie Roll Pop, this is a mystery we are unlikely to solve.
8. “A deployment is basically like a long business trip, isn’t it?”
Often, this is the only frame of reference civilians have for being without a mate for any extended period of time. You could say ‘no,’ although you’ll get more conversation out of ‘yes, but.’
9. “Aren’t you worried something might happen to him/her?”
Regarding deployment. The question that hits the root of our deepest fears. Whatever your “yes” looks like, be gracious; they’re asking because they’re trying to imagine being in your shoes.
10. “You must be used to this by now, right?”
Or alternatively this. An infuriating question, usually asked in a clumsy effort at a “you got this” tone. If it was meant as encouragement, respond accordingly. Otherwise, consider: “At what point do you think you’d get used to someone you love being in harm’s way?”
11. “What are you going to do to keep busy while he/she is gone?”
This person is surely thinking of lonely evenings without a companion and not the fact that one person/parent gone means twice the work for the other member of the household. Consider: “Well, maybe now there will be enough hours in the day?” Probably not, there never are.
12. “Didn’t you choose this life?”
Everyone understands that we marry a person, not a profession, which is what makes this question so off-putting. But before you jump to the ‘otherness’ of military life, consider the common ground: We all choose a path while implicitly reserving the right to vent when that path is kicking our butts.
13. “You’re military, so you must be a republican, right?”
The military community is diverse and changing fast which, you have to admit, runs counter to the “defense machine,” which is huge and changes very slowly. This question is an opportunity to talk about just how diverse our community is.
