Dear Mindy, Wife In Need

Dear Mindy,

I have no idea where to turn to so I decided to write to you guys in hope that you could give me some guidance.

My husband has returned from a deployment in Korea. We are supposed to be stationed in Texas, but because he felt we would be “safer’ with my parents and he would have peace of mind, the kids (we have two) and I came back to my hometown. He came back to his duty station about two weeks ago from Korea.

Suffice it to say this deployment took a huge toll on our marriage. The man that came back is not my husband. I don’t recognize him. This man drinks. This man curses. This man is foreign and unreal and probably will never really tell me what happened in Korea except for the fact that he got caught spending $400 on alcohol. That’s when the problems started.

Fast forward to now, we have separate accounts, I am working to keep up with bills and such. The past two paychecks ($1700 & $1800 rounded) he received he only sent us $600. No more. I have been struggling to make ends meet. I don’t have access to his accounts, there are bills to be paid and all he says is that since we are not there he has to pay rent.

Well, today he also got himself a car. That was it for me. Here I am not able to pay the rent or car payment, and yet he gets himself a car. Like our family means nothing.

We are constantly fighting and I just don’t feel I should have to beg or fight for the money to be sent so I can pay the bills and pay them on time! My part time job only pays me about $400 biweekly and is really more (was supposed to be anyways) supplemental income.

I don’t know what to do. Please help me.

Sincerely,

Wife in Need

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Mindy Brewster: Mindy Brewster is the proud spouse of a Navy Seabee and mother of 2 amazing daughters. Mindy devotes her time to family and friends as well as an advocate at each station helping other spouses navigate the Military Life.