I’m Just Here for the Sex and the Tennis

I'm Just Here For the Sex and the Tennis

There are very few things we can control as military spouses. We have zero control over where we live, when or how we move. When it comes to deployments, we have even less control over when our spouse deploys, when we can talk to them or when he/she is finally able to return home. Actually, the list is endless of the things we cannot control. Pass the wine, please. For "Type A" personalities aka control freaks like myself, this military life can be challenging or more like maddening . However, I have found one simple thing that gives me the control I need to stay content in this life. I have carved out a slice of bliss for myself at each new assignment and during every deployment. My happiness is tennis. My husband always asks me if I'm going to be "ok" with the next assignment or the next deployment. I ( half ) jokingly respond, "I have little control over it, so really, I'm just here for the sex and the tennis. As long as I have those two things, I'll be fine. Move me where ever!" Now, substitute the word "tennis" with any hobby or love of sport in your life. I caution you NOT to substitute the word "sex" with any other word. That's important, but we'll save that for another article. What makes you happy? Find that little slice of bliss for yourself, especially while your spouse is deployed. Don't confuse doing things for your children or spouse with doing things for yourself. They are separate and not to be blended. Also, I would even go as far as to say your hobby or passion should NOTHING to do with the military or other military spouses. Find your own your spot in the sun. When I first started playing tennis in '05 while at Maxwell AFB, I joined a local tennis league. That is where I met the most amazing women with serious southern charm from the community. I totally got the low down on places to eat, babysitters, schools and local fun. No one cared what my husband did for a living or what rank he was or wasn't. Actually, most of the tennis community seemed bored when I started talking about life as a military spouse. It was strangely refreshing. I'm on my 5th PCS, I've played on 14 tennis teams in five states. And when we move again, my first phone call will not be to find a house or school, but to find a new tennis club and team to play on. Tennis players are little cult members, a strange sorority. I'll be accepted into their world sight unseen because I love the game of tennis. It's that simple. And if we move back to a previous assignment, I know there is a spot on the team waiting for me. I can take tennis ( and sex ) with me to every assignment and through each deployment. Through my husband's last deployment, I secured babysitters for my tennis matches before I would secure them for childless grocery shopping. Grocery shopping was one thing on a long list of daunting tasks that had to be done. However, playing tennis was for me; for my mind, body and spirit. And because I've found my passion, I'm a happier wife and mother, too. Tennis may not be your thing, but I know you have a passion for something, some sport or hobby. Whether it's bowling, running clubs, cross fit, music, zumba, Pinterest groups, singing, billiards, dancing, animal rescue, horseback riding, volunteering or politics - find your slice of happiness. For the most part, you'll find "your niche" in every community through clubs, organizations, churches and associations. Make time for yourself, invest in something you love, something that belongs only to you that has nothing to do with being a military spouse. You won't always be a military spouse, but you will always be YOU. Starting investing! Popular sport and hobby organizations Sports www.usta.com www.bowl.com www.rrca.org/find-a-running-club www.usga.org and www.lpga.com www.discoverarchery.org www.imba.com www.billiardclub.net www.zumba.com Hobbies www.craftsy.com www.culinaryschools.org www.communitygarden.org Politics www.democrats.org www.gop.com Rescue and Service www.aspca.org www.foodpantries.org www.voa.org www.rif.org www.habitat.org

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