I’m Just Here for the Sex and the Tennis

I’m Just Here For the Sex and the Tennis

There are very few things we can control as military spouses. We have zero control over where we live, when or how we move. When it comes to deployments, we have even less control over when our spouse deploys, when we can talk to them or when he/she is finally able to return home. Actually, the list is endless of the things we cannot control. Pass the wine, please.

For “Type A” personalities aka control freaks like myself, this military life can be challenging or more like maddening. However, I have found one simple thing that gives me the control I need to stay content in this life. I have carved out a slice of bliss for myself at each new assignment and during every deployment. My happiness is tennis.

My husband always asks me if I’m going to be “ok” with the next assignment or the next deployment. I (half) jokingly respond, “I have little control over it, so really, I’m just here for the sex and the tennis. As long as I have those two things, I’ll be fine. Move me where ever!”

Now, substitute the word “tennis” with any hobby or love of sport in your life. I caution you NOT to substitute the word “sex” with any other word. That’s important, but we’ll save that for another article. What makes you happy? Find that little slice of bliss for yourself, especially while your spouse is deployed. Don’t confuse doing things for your children or spouse with doing things for yourself. They are separate and not to be blended. Also, I would even go as far as to say your hobby or passion should NOTHING to do with the military or other military spouses. Find your own your spot in the sun.

When I first started playing tennis in ’05 while at Maxwell AFB, I joined a local tennis league. That is where I met the most amazing women with serious southern charm from the community. I totally got the low down on places to eat, babysitters, schools and local fun. No one cared what my husband did for a living or what rank he was or wasn’t. Actually, most of the tennis community seemed bored when I started talking about life as a military spouse. It was strangely refreshing.

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Stacy Huisman: Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman is an Air Force spouse, writer, mother and advocate within the military spouse community. As a former Parent-to-Parent trainer for Military Child Education Coalition, she led workshops and seminars on many topics related to the education of military-connected students. She is the coauthor with Dr. Amanda Trimillos of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers (Elva Resa, 2018). In her “other” life, she worked in public affairs and project management for the city of Las Vegas for 14 years. She was the Executive Director for the Las Vegas Centennial. She had a hand in baking the world largest birthday cake, hosting a 100,000 person parade, marrying 100 couples at once, organizing an amazing Red Hot Chili Peppers concert and managing 450 other events, programs and public relations celebrating her hometown birthday! She met her husband while he was stationed at Nellis AFB. She was whisked away on a crazy military spouse journey around the globe and hasn’t looked back since – only forward. Stacy is connected to many aspects of military life. She writes for one of our other Victory Media publications - GI Jobs Magazine - where she features successful transitioned Veterans in the workforce. She continues to write for myriad of websites and blogs, including a mini-think tank she co-founded called Families on the Home Front. Stacy was published in the popular book Stories Around the Table - Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life. She is also a judge for Operation Homefront's Military Child of the Year 2015.

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