It’s that time of year again for this Marine Corps Spouse. Our birthday ball is fast approaching and USMC spouses everywhere are out looking for that perfect ball gown.
Oh, how I envy our male counterparts in the military spouse world this time of year. What man doesn’t look good in a tux? And short of renting a powder blue one with a neon green cummerbund…you really can’t go wrong. But for the ladies, well, a lot can go wrong. Over the past 13 years I have been witness to some serious fashion disasters. Those are images that you just can’t get out of your head.
This is the perfect time to tackle a Top 10 list that can help us all show up to whatever military ball we will attend this year looking our best. Be warned. I am old fashioned. I am a fierce advocate of covering your behind. If you are hell bent on wearing that cute little number you found in the Fredricks of Hollywood Catalog… this piece might not be for you. I want us to remain friends. Let’s just agree to disagree, OK?
Top 10 Tips for Choosing a Classy, Not Trashy Ball Gown
10. Floor length is best.
Oh, I know, I know… that’s an old-fashioned statement. To be fair, I did just warn you. But if your ball is considered formal, then it is customary to wear something floor length. How do you know if it is formal? A good rule of thumb is to find out what uniform is required of your spouse. In the Marine Corps, if they are wearing their dress blues (especially if they are wearing medals and not just ribbons), it is appropriate to wear a formal gown. Formal indicates floor length.
9. If not floor length, then PLEASE check the wind advisory.
If there is any chance, at all, that your gown will not sufficiently cover your bum for any reason or at any point in the evening… get another gown. This includes wind, dancing or bending over to pick up your purse. We don’t really want to see your thong underwear… we would rather leave that up to the imagination, thank you. Remember ladies… if your fingertips touch flesh when you put them by your side… there is a chance we can see more than we want. In the age of camera phones… well, I am just trying to have your back… in a manner of speaking.
8. There should be no reason for tape.
If in order to keep your dress in place you require any form of tape… sports tape, masking tape, duct tape… it might be time to reconsider your selection. I don’t really think this needs further explanation, do you?