Wow. This week has been rough. This week we decided to take on a subject that left many of you screaming “thank you for finally talking about this!!” and just as many of you screaming, “please stop talking about this!!” right back in the other direction. And we have, purposefully, let it play out in our comments, both on Facebook and www.militaryspouse.com because we WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY.
All of it. Even the comments where you are really angry or upset with us.
Because all of it is important.
You see, the military spouse community is diverse. We are kind of like snowflakes… when you see us as a collective group it may seem that we are all alike. For some, what they see is beautiful and graceful… some people see slush and traffic jams. No, of course I am not saying that military spouses are all beautiful and graceful OR that they are all slushy and cause pile-ups… that is the exact point of this entire week. We can’t really use the word “ALL” or “MANY” anymore, now can we?
Each and every one of us is completely different… just like an individual snowflake. You will never find two that are identical.
And this week has reinforced that idea better than a hundred surveys we could post asking about our diverse community. It has become glaringly obvious, to me, this week, that “defining the MILITARY SPOUSE”… is damn near impossible. Even though we have so much in common sometimes, even though we can understand each other better than anyone else can… we are all living completely different lives. “Military Life” for one spouse, can be the polar opposite for another spouse… sometimes in the same branch of service, the same unit… or the same duplex.
What have we heard this week? We have heard that the stereotypes that are very common (and upsetting to some spouses) are completely foreign concepts (and now equally as upsetting) to other spouses. We have heard spouses say that others must be living under a rock… we have heard spouses say that some just want to create drama and are over-stating their experiences.
Neither of these things are entirely true.
Do some folks thrive on drama? Oh, sure. That happens everywhere. The military spouse community does not have exclusive rights to that concept. But it does not mean that some of these down-right nasty behaviors and stereotypes are not playing out in the daily life of some in our community. Just because one person has never eaten a banana… or seen a banana… certainly doesn’t mean bananas don’t exist.
Do some folks turn a blind-eye to things that are happening right under their noses? Again, sure. We can’t OWN that concept either. But it doesn’t mean that by the luck of the draw or a million other reasons, that they simply have never been to a store that sells a banana… or had the opportunity to eat a banana. All it means is that it has not been a part of their experience.
And yes, I know that everyone has probably seen a banana… but you get my point, right?
Many of you, especially today as we are re-posting the content from this week, have been asking us to please put more positivity out there… you want articles that will tell us solutions and how to fix the problem, be better… and move on already! We want you to know that from the start of this week… those articles have been in the works. We are not interested in just throwing out a bunch of negative stuff out into the universe with no attempt to counter that with the positive. Tomorrow evening you can look forward to the start of that content.
We know this week has been uncomfortable. We know some of you are upset. And we want to continue to hear from you. Because each and every one of you is important to the discussion. We invite you to be honest with us… we will listen, even if we may not always agree.
In return we are asking for a bit of patience… with us, and with each other. The content you see today may not apply to YOU. It may not be helpful to YOU. But it doesn’t mean that is not helpful to someone else in this diverse group of INDIVIDUALS. In fact, we know the content has helped many this week. For every angry message or comment, we have received a “thank you” . So please, hang in there. We invite you to search this site for a piece of content you HAVE been looking for because we talk about a variety of topics frequently, and I believe you will find something that you can relate to. BUT, if you don’t find it, please send us a message or comment here. We are always looking for new ideas and ways to make sure all of the beautiful, graceful and even slushy snowflakes in our community have the support, information and resources we need to navigate this crazy wonderful life we are all living.